Leading with Eyes Wide Open: Conscious Leadership in Action

I often say that leadership isn’t just about what you do—it’s about how you show up. And few have captured that truth better than Jim Dethmer and the Conscious Leadership Group.

Their work centers around a simple but powerful question: Are you leading from fear or from trust? They teach that leaders operate either above the line, where we’re open, curious, and responsible—or below the line, where we react, defend, and control. What I love about this approach is how it shifts leadership from being a role we play to a way of being.

Over the years, I’ve seen how transformative this work can be, especially in moments where something isn’t quite working, and no one can put their finger on why.

Let me tell you a story.

I was brought in by a CEO who was growing increasingly concerned about one of their senior leaders. On paper, she was performing. Her department was delivering, and she was hitting targets. But there was one recurring issue: her team just wouldn’t stay. New hires would join with excitement, and within months they’d be out the door. The turnover wasn’t just disruptive—it was becoming expensive, draining energy, and creating instability throughout the company.

When I started working with her and her direct team—five other leaders—I noticed something straight away. People were polite, but guarded. Careful with their words. It took time, but eventually the truth started to surface. Quietly, and then more openly, members of the team began sharing that while they respected their leader, working with her wasn’t easy.

“She gets frustrated and snaps.”
“She doesn’t listen—really listen.”
“Sometimes she raises her voice, and it just shuts us down.”
“It’s hard to be honest with her.”

What they described was a culture of fear—subtle, but real. One where people didn’t feel safe to speak openly, where they felt judged or dismissed. And over time, that kind of environment takes a toll. People leave not just because they have other options, but because staying costs too much emotionally.

Meanwhile, the leader herself came across as strong, direct, even confident. But in our coaching conversations, something else emerged. She was defensive, cautious, and deeply mistrusting—even with me, her confidential coach. Any feedback or challenge seemed to trigger a need to protect, to justify, to deflect. It became clear she had very little idea of how others experienced her—and very little trust that anyone could really have her back.

This is where the tools of Conscious Leadership became vital. We started by exploring awareness—how she showed up in the room, how she responded under pressure, how much energy she was using just to defend her image. I introduced the concept of "above the line" and "below the line" leadership, and slowly, she began to see the patterns.

A turning point came when we introduced 360 feedback. Reading her team's words—reflected back to her with clarity and care—was both painful and eye-opening. She genuinely hadn’t known. It wasn’t malice—it was blind spots.

What we uncovered was this: her reactivity wasn’t about control. It was about fear. Fear of not being good enough, of being exposed, of being judged. Her self-esteem, which seemed strong from the outside, was fragile underneath. And it was driving her behavior in ways she couldn’t see.

We began doing the real work—building self-awareness, unpacking triggers, and practicing how to respond rather than react. She learned to pause. To breathe. To get curious instead of defensive. Bit by bit, she became more open, more present, more connected.

And something beautiful happened.

Her team started relaxing. Communication improved. People stayed longer. They began to trust—not just her leadership, but the environment they were working in. That’s the power of conscious leadership.

Because here’s the truth: when leaders don’t see themselves clearly, it’s always the team that pays the price. And when leaders do commit to seeing—and shifting—everything changes.

Turnover isn’t just a staffing issue. It’s a signal. A signpost that something deeper might be going on. And while recruitment is expensive, the cost of unaddressed fear in leadership is even greater.

But the good news? Change is absolutely possible. I’ve seen it. I’ve walked alongside it. And I believe in it.

Because when leaders lead with awareness, everyone wins.