The Little Things That Changed Everything

Not Another Productivity Hack—Just What Feels Good

There was a time when I believed self-care had to be grand—waking up at dawn, perfecting elaborate routines, filling every moment with optimised productivity. But beneath it all, I was exhausted. No checklist or habit tracker could soothe the weariness that lived in me.

So, I let go. Instead of chasing self-improvement like another task to master, I turned to the quiet, almost invisible things—the ones that didn’t demand effort but still felt like care.

These are the habits that changed everything. Not in a dramatic, life-altering way, but in the gentle, steady way that makes today feel a little lighter. And sometimes, that’s all we need.

1. Wearing What I Fancy
I grew up in the theatre world, where dressing up was second nature. Fashion, like theatre, was a way to express myself—a costume, a prop, a declaration. When I first arrived in New York City from a small coastal town in Portugal, I dressed to impress. A polka-dot dress, an embalmed bird perched on my shoulder, a red hat with a net over my face—I wanted to provoke, to express my untethered soul.

But things change. Now, I dress for comfort. I’ve significantly reduced my mental load. I choose colours based on how I feel rather than how I want to be perceived. When I step into a leadership coaching session, I may wear something “professional,” but I also love showing up in big, muddy boots—a reminder of the untrodden paths I’ve walked. Dressing up is still an act of self-expression, but now, it’s for me.

2. The Rule of Three
There was a time when my to-do list stretched endlessly, filled with matrices of high-impact, high-effort tasks. I tracked everything, measured engagement, optimised every second. The result? My business felt like it was running me instead of the other way around.

So I simplified. Now, I choose just three things to accomplish each day. That’s it. Three. Anything beyond that is a bonus. And instead of measuring clicks, likes, and external validation, I measure something else: joy.

What we measure grows, they say. So I choose to measure my own delight—the soul-expanding kind. Writing this? A win. Sharing my thoughts without obsessing over metrics? Another win. Maybe success isn’t about scale. Maybe it’s about feeling at home in my work.

3. The Good Enough Policy
I used to believe in giving 120% to everything. Hard work was my religion. Growing up as a migrant, arriving in New York with $500 and nothing but an acting degree, survival meant effort. There was no room for half-measures.

But over time, I learned that effort doesn’t always equal impact. Fatigue and overwhelm don’t make you valuable; they just make you tired. So I abandoned the productivity hamster wheel—the time-blocking, the 5 a.m. wake-ups, the relentless optimisation. Instead, I choose to show up, do the work, and call it good enough.

Maybe I’m not read by the masses. Maybe I’m not trending. Maybe my words don’t land in the hands of the famous. But I write anyway. I create anyway. And I love myself anyway. That, I’ve decided, is enough.

4. Small Acts of Comfort
Self-care isn’t always about the big, transformative moments. Sometimes, it’s as simple as lighting a candle. Playing soft jazz in the background. Asking Alexa for binaural beats to ease into focus. Wearing perfume at home, just because I like it.

These little rituals don’t demand much, but they soften the edges of the day. They remind me that I deserve comfort—not as a reward, not as an afterthought, but as a way of being. And maybe that’s the biggest shift of all: recognising that joy doesn’t have to be earned. It can just be.

Self-care, I’ve learned, doesn’t have to be loud. It doesn’t have to be another item on a checklist or another thing to master. Sometimes, it’s found in the smallest of habits—the ones that ask nothing of you but offer everything in return. And that, in itself, is enough.