🌀 Wearing Too Many Hats: The Hidden Cost of Doing It All

On juggling, overfunctioning, and what we exile to stay in control.

One of the most consistent patterns I see in my coaching practice is this:

Brilliant, big-hearted people—building businesses and careers that mean something—quietly losing touch with the very spark that got them there.

I work with leaders in creative, mission-led spaces: cultural institutions, design-for-good studios, health and climate tech, inclusive educators, placemakers, coaches. People with vision and values. People with fire.

And yet...

So many whisper versions of the same thing:

“I feel stuck. Disconnected. Tired. Like I’ve lost my energy—and I don’t know where it went.”

At some point, purpose-led work becomes a maze of roles:
Founder. Strategist. Sales lead. Marketer. Creative director. Ops. HR. Social media manager…

All in one body. One nervous system.

And because you care—because you’re emotionally intelligent, values-driven, attuned to others—you hold it all. You stretch. You overfunction. You hold space for everyone else while silently starving your own needs.

You tell yourself:

• “I just need to get through this quarter.”

• “Once the branding’s sorted, I’ll feel clearer.”

• “If I don’t do it, no one will.”

Meanwhile, your system—body and psyche—is quietly screaming:
Help. Clarity. Containment. Space.

🔍 What’s Really Happening Underneath

This isn’t just a systems problem. It’s a survival strategy.

From a coaching and IFS lens, here’s what often shows up:

• A part of you stays emotionally detached to avoid overwhelm—"professional," but joyless.

• Another part resists asking for help, equating vulnerability with weakness.

• And another over-identifies with the work—your role becomes your identity.

These parts aren’t flaws. They’re protectors. They once kept you safe. But now?

They’re running the show long after the danger has passed.

🧭 A Client Story

One client left a high-intensity job to build her dream: a creative consultancy for climate tech. On paper, she was free. She had experience, clarity, vision.

But she couldn’t launch. The website stalled. The offer fogged over. Every decision spiralled into weeks of avoidance.

When we explored deeper, we found:

• A part was grieving—leaving her job meant losing identity, safety, structure.

• Another was scared—“What if this fails?”

• The overfunctioner took over—trying to perfect branding, sales, admin… before she felt ready.

We worked not just on strategy—but on letting her nervous system catch up with her ambition. On building a business that could hold her, not deplete her.

⚡It’s Not Just Her

I see it in:

• The HR Director now managing wellbeing, IT and crisis response.

• The Coach turned Marketer, burned out by algorithm-chasing.

• The Designer doing sales, caught in perfectionism and people-pleasing.

• The Headteacher playing therapist and social worker on top of leading a school.

In the startup world, 54% of founders reported burnout last year. Among freelancers, the pressure to stay “visible” often replaces their original joy.

This isn’t just a personal problem—it’s a systemic one. But change starts within.

🧠 Coaching Questions to Reflect On

• What old role am I unconsciously performing?

• What feelings am I exiling to appear “together” or “professional”?

• What would it mean to lead from a place that honours all of me—not just the polished or productive parts?

Many of us carry scripts from childhood: that being useful = love, that chaos must be controlled, that being needed is safer than being seen. These patterns follow us into leadership—until we meet them with awareness.

💬 What Coaching Offers

Coaching isn’t just sharper strategy—it’s deeper integration.

It’s a space where your unseen parts can speak, rest, and eventually lead.

Your business can be a place of nourishment, not just execution.

Your leadership can be a healing act.